A Day In The Life Of A Week

It's been a day. It's really been a week...

This is my beautiful 300 gallon salt water fish tank with my glorious fin babies. All five of them. That tank was a labor of love to get built and up and operating when I built my home 3 years ago. I, unfortunately, lost two of my original babies: a darling little puffer and my trophy fish, a beautiful harlequin tuskfish.

So, now I have two of the original fish and three others. My extra large sailfin died and has been replaced by another who is growing nicely in the tank. Beautiful. A very important part of my sanctuary.

About 8-12 months ago, we had a transformer about 6 houses down, blow up. Literally. We lost power and it surged 2-3 times before it completely went silent. I've been around enough blackouts that I know when you have that many heavy, loud surges...you're gonna be out of luck for a few hours. My first thought turned to my tank. I know how to keep them under as little stress as possible...and how to manually oxygenate the tank. I don't call my aquarium guy until we've passed the 4 hour mark...just to kinda keep him in the loop that I might need his compressor for some oxygen in the tank. By hour 5, I called. We assessed the situation, and felt like I could handle it, should it go through the night. Which, of course, it did. SIXTEEN hours later, power came back on and we were working on de-stressing the fish a bit. We got everyone happy and it seemed like all was well.

...until we looked under the tank at the filtration system.

You see, apparently one of the filter pumps blew upon the initial outage...spraying 1-2 gallons of water all over the insides of the tank "compartment". Luckily, it stopped once the power went back out, but would spray more with each surge. We guessed that we had about 3-4 gallons sprayed in that tiny little "room" under the tank. There was obvious damage done to the walls on the inside.

Enter the issue.

The area where all the filtration is held, was (unbeknownst to me), not built to the specs that were given from my aquarium company to my contractor.

Shall we fast forward a bit?

It was about 8-12 months after that pump issue when I decided to turn our granddaughters nursery room in to an office for me. Something I was GREATLY looking forward to. Not because I wanted to say "goodbye" to a children's room...quite the contrary. I'm happy to report, much like their mother and two aunts, the girls like to spend time out in the great room/living room/kitchen with all the rest of the family. FANTASTIC!! So, back to the original idea of what I wanted when we built the house: an office for myself. My own little nook. I'd purchased and put together a desk, a side table...bought myself a fantastic new computer to do amazing video editing work...I was ready to jump back in to video production and writing again! HOW EXCITING!!

(This was the general beginning "feel" of my office, before tweaking it to be perfect.)


Unfortunately, what you DON'T see in that picture was what I found after moving an ivory linen loveseat that was right underneath the tank.

My beautiful office had that one picture taken (above) and was immediately dismantled, because I found THIS behind that loveseat:

water damage. mold. salt.

That's because 8-12 months prior, that pump blew up and the area that houses the filtration system SHOULD have been built with cement board covered in FRP (vinyl lining)...but, it wasn't. And that beautiful, ivory loveseat, hid a dirty little secret that was creeping through my wall.



So, THIS has been my life for a week now:

Now, let's add a little salt to the wound. Let's say they also found a small leak coming from the bottom of the tank...and, while taking out all of the sheetrock that was installed and damaged, the contractor knocked loose one of the drainage pipes on the bottom of the tank. Let's say that a VERY slow drip went unnoticed for 36 hours and turned in to a "more rapid" drip. A drip that while I was at work, filled and overflowed a 5 gallon bucket that was catching the small amount of water that had originally been found to be leaking. Guess what? That water had nowhere to go except straight to the ONE wall that had zero damage. I came home from work to a dry-running pump inside what should have been a large reservoir bucket for back-up of water loss. DRY. TO THE BONE.

I immediately filled that bucket up, contacted my aquarium guy, and we try to troubleshoot over the phone...not knowing that there is an overflowing bucket under the tank. We finally figured that part out, which led to me (very gingerly) draining out water in to a large pot...emptying the pot...and repeating these steps several times, only to keep an eye on it overnight until he could get out to try and repair the further damage that was done by the contractor.

Next day, aquarium crew show up at 9am. Worked for an hour before contractor showed up and found out what damage he had done two days before...only for him to decide nothing could be repaired that day and the fans would have to blow through the weekend and would be reassessed on Monday (today). That would make a total of 6 days of fans blowing 24/7 to dry up walls and studs.).  I wish I could tell you more of the back story of unfortunate issues I have had in trying to repair issues with this house...but, I will spare you.

So...I have 5 contractors in the house that morning and my house cleaners show up early and unannounced. Well, there's no way they can clean with all these guys in my home...and even if they DID clean, the contractors were only going to dirty up the whole area after they left. Mute point. Let's get you ladies to come back in the afternoon, like agreed upon. Oh....wait. Their boss says "no go", they'll just have to go to another job or go home. I call in to the owner who PROMISES to get me a crew out that afternoon after 2pm...or, at least ONE worker. promises. Ok. That will work.

In the meantime, I am popping my second anti-anxiety pill of the day, because one of the guys in the house used the laundry room sink and got water EVERYWHERE. And, when I mean "everywhere",  I mean, so much water that when I wiped the counter, water poured off the edges. No exaggeration. Water was sprayed on a stack of four baby books that I had just set there a couple of days ago. Not only that, but when he walked in the laundry room, which was closed and housed my two small dogs, he stepped in a "fresh yellow puddle" and walked out in to the house...bringing it all with him...everywhere he walked.

I get a phone call from my daughter asking if I can watch my eldest granddaughter while they take the youngest one in for blood work. (For those who don't know her story, she has a congenital birth defect that is something we have to watch closely until she can have surgery.) Absolutely! Bring her over. It's a three-ring shit show at my house, but I figure that my eldest granddaughter would be a good distraction for me. Besides, I am now down to three contractors in the house.

Granddaughter gets to my house. We watch the end of Toy Story. She's hungry...I gave her one of the snacks her mom sent. We start in on Toy Story 2.

Hungry again? Ok...let's grab another snack. Back to the movie.

I know I fed you 5 minutes ago...but, you are hungry AGAIN? Alright....up in the high-chair you go and I will feed you a MEAL. That should fix your large appetite. Food finished, we sit together and watch more movie time.

Really? You need another snack? How much can a 23lb little girl eat??? Ok...let's give you a squeeze pouch of carrots and broccoli that mom sent along. Good thing you love healthy food!

The last of the three contractors are finally heading out. I get my instructions and say goodbye, just in time for a 21mo old to melt down. *sigh* My nerves are hanging on by a thread. Just about the time I was falling in to a pit of despair, mom and dad show up to pick up my granddaughter. However, before they left, my daughter finds something on the floor and asks if one of the dogs got sick on the floor...? I look and think, "no". I look closer...there are large, flat puddles of dark liquid all over my floors...the granddaughters furniture...MY furniture. WTH?!?! What could it be? Whatever it is, some little feet decided to slide around in several of the spots. I begin to cry. It's carrot/broccoli squeeze pouch.

THAT....was the tiny little straw that broke this camels back. I sobbed and fell apart.

Have you been at that spot before? Where you looked at how truly blessed you are...what "first world problems" you are dealing with...how you know friends that are dealing with FAR larger issues than you...but, you just cannot keep that brave face and spirit any longer. You just crack in to an ugly cry.

The cleaners had completely canceled 30 minutes prior. I had SO much dirt tracked in from the contractors that my bare feet were black. I had carrot and broccoli puree slip-n-slide all over my living room. I had large footprints of dog urine going from one room to the next. And, here I stood in my pretty sundress.....done. I could take no more.

My daughter tried her best to console me. She was genuinely concerned that I was going to end up in ER with a panic attack. I thanked her and said my goodbyes through tears...went and took off my pretty sundress...changed in to black yoga pants and a t-shirt...grabbed a large towel and soaked it in hot water...and got down on my butt and washed the floors by hand. I was going to beat this low and climb out of my hole if it was the last thing I did. I'll be damned if I let all of the arrows that had been hitting me keep me down.

I called out of work the next day. I used to give my girls "mental health days" to stay home from school, as long as their grades were good. I'd never really allowed myself that ability. I raised three stellar girls. I'd gone through hell and back in life. I'd dealt with multiple deaths...yet, I didn't allow myself the ability to HEAL MY MIND AND SOUL. Ya gotta allow yourself that, folks. If someone else sees that you are gonna break...take it seriously. Time for you to take a "time out".



I ended up visiting my grandma on my day off. It was the day after her 87th birthday and she FINALLY got to meet my youngest granddaughter...her second great-great-granddaughter. It was time well-spent and much needed.

All this to ask you to be tender with one another. Be tender with yourself, also. Yes...things COULD be much worse. We COULD be dealing with much more severe issues. Many people are dealing with grave situations and health concerns on the daily. But, it does not negate the fact that we each have our struggles...and our breaking points. I hold my hurt in and bury it deeper than is healthy. So, when I break...I break HARD...and, it's not when things are at Defcon 5, because that's when my armor of strength is the strongest! It's when I am battled and bruised and tired from the LARGE struggles...and a bunch of smallish, incoming arrows hit me all at once...just when I think I have all my shit together.

Did that all make sense? Could anyone else out there relate?
What do you do why life hits you one-too-many times?